Sleep deprivation

I used to glamourise it, but it's really not for me, I guess.  At least when other's rely on me.  I've avoided it very well for months now, except this past week.  A familiar pattern as time gets tighter of shorter and shorter nights, including a one hour nap the other Wednesday.  The sensation is a bit amusing, but running empty on mental energy does not work well for me.  Attempts at conversations with people where I had to think or consider something new end up hitting walls.  I can't think.  I can't consider that right now.  Please ask me later.  I even managed to sleep through three alarms and miss a couple obligations.  I quite regret disappointing a friend that morning, and the class I TA, but they both seem very understanding. :D

It's a situation I'm not willing to entertain anymore.  In many ways, my Masters has slowed down a great deal as I refuse to accept unreasonable deadlines and insist on full sleep.  Accomplishments don't feel quite as epic when they're not at 7AM in the morning, an hour before a due date, but life is much sweeter and my brain, my happy brain!  It's nice not working on a burn-out-and-recovery cycle.

And my mood.  The change was gradual since the summer, but getting to exhaust myself again for a couple days last week helped me see its affect on my ability to tolerate the unusual, new stimuli, and little inconveniences.  I'm more aware of my reactions these days and better able to manage them, but having the initial urge is still uncomfortable, and a good argument for proper sleep.

And now a fond good night from a borrowed bed,

Can I stay just a little longer?